BH
The Journey to the Keter: Growth Through Challenges
Rebbe Nachman teaches in Likutey Moharan lesson 24 that when one performs a mitzvah with joy, it propels them upward toward the Keter. The Keter, often described as the spiritual gateway to Hashem’s infinite light, represents the pinnacle of spiritual achievement. However, direct access to the infinite light is impossible for finite beings. If one were to fully connect, they would cease to exist as a distinct entity and merge entirely with the light, which is not Hashem’s intention.
Hashem desires that human beings, while remaining finite, experience His presence and clarity. The Keter achieves this by pushing the individual back. This dynamic, known in Kabbalistic terms as Matei V’lo Matei—“reaching and not reaching”—allows a person to gain brief exposure to Hashem’s infinite light before being returned to their finite state. During this “bounce back,” the individual creates vessels capable of containing the divine light in a manageable way.
The result is clarity, providing solutions to life’s challenges and frustrations. Rebbe Nachman emphasizes that the trials of life are continuous, as they are the stepping stones for growth. These tests are not meant to break a person but to propel them closer to Hashem, driving them to perform mitzvot with joy and engage with the Keter.
The Role of Simcha in Accessing the Infinite Light
The key to this process is simcha – joy. Joy in mitzvot enables the individual to approach the Keter, endure its pushback, and emerge with the clarity and spiritual growth needed to navigate life’s tests.
The Keter and Marriage: Insights from Reb Noson
Reb Noson, in Likutey Halakhot (Laws of Marriage, Discourse 4), extends the concept of the Keter to the dynamic between husband and wife. He highlights the verse from Mishlei (Proverbs), “Eshet Chayil Ateret Ba’alah”—“A woman of valor is the crown of her husband.” This indicates that the wife, in her role within the marital relationship, embodies the concept of the Keter.
In marriage, the husband is traditionally the giver, obligated through the Ketubah to provide for his wife’s needs. The wife, as the recipient, might seem to hold a subordinate position. However, the concept of the Keter flips this perspective.
The Keter, as the crown, sits above the head, symbolizing its elevated status. Similarly, the wife’s role as the crown of her husband signifies her ability to elevate him, guiding him toward greater spiritual and personal growth.
The Wife as the Keter: A Balancing Force
The Keter represents restraint and balance. It provides a pushback that ensures aspirations and ambitions are tempered to avoid overexertion or burnout. Similarly, the wife plays a critical role in marriage by acting as a spiritual “brake,” guiding the husband and family toward sustainability and growth. Her connection to the Keter allows her to see when ambitions might exceed practical limits, and her resistance, though challenging, is ultimately for the husband’s benefit.
This dynamic reflects a deeper truth: while the wife is the receiver in marriage, her rootedness in the Keter elevates her to a position of profound influence. Setbacks and obstacles originating from the wife are opportunities for the husband to bend, like the curved shape of the Hebrew letter kaf, symbolizing humility. By accepting this pushback, the husband gains clarity and builds vessels to receive Hashem’s infinite light.
Sarah Imeinu: The Eshet Chayil of Avraham Avinu
The Midrash on Parshat Chayei Sarah emphasizes Sarah’s role as the crown of Avraham Avinu, explicitly connecting her to the verse Eshet Chayil Ateret Ba’alah. Sarah’s passing marked a tremendous loss for Avraham, as the Torah hints in the word v’livkotah (“and he cried over her”), where the kaf in the word is written smaller than usual in the Torah.
Rebbe Nachman, citing the Zohar, explains that the letter kaf represents the Keter. Avraham’s mourning reflects the profound recognition of Sarah’s spiritual stature and her role in guiding their family through challenges.
Sarah’s Divine Wisdom: A Higher Level of Ruach HaKodesh
In last week’s Parshah, Sarah’s divine inspiration surpassed Avraham’s in a critical moment. When Sarah insisted that Hagar and Yishmael be sent away due to Yishmael’s negative influence, Avraham was deeply pained. However, Hashem instructed him, Sh’ma b’kolah—“Listen to her voice”—affirming that Sarah’s Ruach HaKodesh was superior in this matter.
Sarah’s higher spiritual level in certain domains highlights the dynamic of the Keter. Her suggestion to expel Hagar and Yishmael, like the pushback of the Keter, was necessary to ensure the family’s spiritual and practical well-being.
Sarah as the Keter: The Balance of Advancement and Restraint
Reb Noson expands on the idea that Sarah Imeinu embodied the concept of the Keter, the spiritual crown, as reflected in the verse Eshet Chayil Ateret Ba’alah—“A woman of valor is the crown of her husband.” While Avraham Avinu was a towering spiritual figure, Sarah’s role as the Keter meant she often acted as a counterbalance, providing restraint to ensure proper spiritual growth.
Sarah’s Dedication to Avraham
Sarah’s immense dedication to Avraham is reflected in her willingness to endure disgrace for his honor. The Gemara notes that even after her passing, she would have preferred to delay her burial so that Avraham could participate in the eulogy and funeral rites. This shows her respect and commitment to her husband’s role, even beyond her lifetime.
The Small Kaf and the Passing of Sarah
The Torah hints at Sarah’s role as the Keter in the word v’livkotah—“and he cried over her” (Genesis 23:2)—where the letter kaf is written smaller than usual. The kaf symbolizes the Keter, representing humility and the ability to receive setbacks as part of spiritual growth. The diminished kaf indicates the profound yet tempered grief Avraham felt at Sarah’s passing, as well as the unique balance Sarah provided in their relationship.
Rashi explains that Sarah’s death was connected to the Akedat Yitzchak (the Binding of Isaac). Upon hearing conflicting reports that her son was both about to be sacrificed and then saved, the emotional strain caused her soul to depart. The Ba’al HaTurim adds that Avraham’s crying was limited because her passing was, in a sense, self-induced—a result of her own overwhelming response to the news.
Sarah’s Role in Mateh V’lo Mateh
The concept of mateh v’lo mateh—“reaching and not reaching”—is a key characteristic of the Keter. It represents the balance of allowing spiritual advancement while providing necessary restraint. Sarah exemplified this dynamic throughout her life, guiding Avraham with wisdom and providing the spiritual brakes to prevent him from overextending himself. Her role ensured that Avraham’s spiritual growth was balanced, sustainable, and aligned with Hashem’s will.
The Keter is the goal of marriage, as hard as it is to get there
Yitzchak and the Legacy of Sarah’s Role as the Keter
In this conclusion, we see how Sarah’s unique role as the Keter transitions to Yitzchak after the Akedah (Binding of Isaac). Her passing marks the moment when Yitzchak takes on the balance of running toward and being restrained from fully reaching the infinite light.
Yitzchak’s Role as the Keter
- Ratzon and Simcha: Sarah’s passing is linked to the Akedah. Yitzchak’s readiness to be sacrificed demonstrated his ratzon (desire) and simcha (joy) in fulfilling Hashem’s will, aligning with the qualities of the Keter—mateh v’lo mateh (reaching and not reaching). This transition reassured Sarah, leading to her peaceful passing.
- Yitzchak’s Feminine Soul: The Zohar explains that Yitzchak had a feminine soul, connecting him to the concept of Eshet Chayil Ateret Ba’ala—“A woman of valor is the crown of her husband.” This further highlights his role as a spiritual crown.
Sarah’s Legacy and the Role of the Keter
- Sarah’s Influence on Avraham: As the Keter, Sarah provided Avraham with spiritual restraint and clarity, preventing overreach. Her passing symbolized the completion of her role, paving the way for Yitzchak to continue her legacy.
- Lessons in Shalom Bayit: The Parshah teaches the importance of recognizing a wife’s role as a spiritual “antenna” and crown within the marriage. A husband must respect and understand the moments when his wife’s perspective represents divine restraint and guidance.
Final Reflections
Yitzchak’s transition into the role of Keter reveals the balance between joy, restraint, and spiritual growth. His ratzon to connect to the infinite light mirrors the mateh v’lo mateh process, ensuring continued growth without spiritual disintegration. Sarah’s life and her passing emphasize the importance of the Keter’s role in guiding and balancing spiritual aspirations.
Shabbat Shalom, and may we draw strength from Sarah and Yitzchak’s examples to build clarity and harmony in our own lives and homes.
This class is based on Likutey Moharan lesson 24. For more on this lesson: https://linktr.ee/breslovtherapy_lesson_24
This article also appears on the BRI breslov.org website: https://breslov.org/the-crown-of-the-husband/
For a video presentation for more details on this article: https://youtu.be/g_9CvSgwBFc
Shabbat Shalom
Meir Elkabas
After the raven’s failure, Noach turned to the dove, a symbol of purity and humility, which represents the Jewish people. The dove went out three times, each mission marking stages of hope and progress as the waters receded. The dove’s unique qualities align with Rebbe Nachman’s teaching in Likutey Moharan Lesson 24, which describes how a person’s performance of mitzvot and good deeds, when infused with joy, create a momentum that brings blessings. The dove’s persistence also parallels the Jewish people’s dedication in adversity, unwavering in their connection to Hashem.