BH
In Parshat Ki Teitzei, we come across the mitzvah concerning a fallen animal, found in chapter 22, verse 4. The Torah teaches: “Lo tir’e et chamor achicha, o shoro noflim baderech, v’hit’alamta mehem“—you should not see your brother’s donkey or ox falling on the way and act as if you didn’t notice. Instead, “hakem takim imo“—you must help lift the animal and its burden together with your fellow.
Before diving into the verse, it’s important to recall a powerful story shared by Reb Noson in his autobiography, Yemey Moharnat. This story illustrates how even in moments of personal doubt and struggle, one can find the strength to uplift not only themselves but others as well.
During a particularly challenging time, when Reb Noson was unsure about his journey to the Holy Land, he spent Shabbat in a village where he was feeling overwhelmed by the difficulties of making such a trip. He encountered someone who seemed like a good-hearted individual, and despite his own frustrations, Reb Noson felt a strong need to arouse joy, to experience simcha. He decided to dance with this man, even though the person was initially resistant, embarrassed, and reluctant to join in.
Reb Noson, however, persisted and continued dancing with him until the man’s reluctance gave way to joy. Not only did the man begin to enjoy the dance, but he ended up dancing with even more enthusiasm than Reb Noson himself. His newfound energy and happiness spread to others, making everyone around him happier. Reb Noson reflected on this moment as a reminder of how, even in times of personal hardship, one can tap into the potential joy within others and bring it to the surface, creating a ripple effect of simcha for everyone.
With this in mind, we can now better understand the verse in Parshat Ki Teitzei: “Ki tireh et chamor achicha o shoro noflim baderech v’t’alamta mehem, hakem takim imo”—If you see your brother’s donkey or ox fallen on the road, do not ignore it; you must help him lift it up. This verse contains profound spiritual meaning beyond its literal interpretation, particularly when viewed through the lens of Rebbe Nachman’s teachings on simcha (joy).
Rebbe Nachman and Reb Noson emphasize that joy is the key to overcoming life’s obstacles. Even when one feels weighed down by difficulties or personal struggles, simcha—even if forced—can unlock the door to freedom and spiritual growth. They interpret the verse from Isaiah, “Ki b’simcha tetze’u” (“For with joy you will leave”), as a directive that through joy, we can extricate ourselves from the challenges that keep us stuck.
Now, let’s break down this verse. “Ki tireh et chamor achicha”—If you see your brother’s donkey, the word chamor (donkey) shares a root with chomer, meaning materialism or physicality. So, the verse speaks to seeing a fellow Jew, your brother, whose materialism—chomriyut—is weighing him down and causing him to fall. This is someone who shares your aspirations for serving Hashem, yet is struggling because the physical burdens of life are dragging him down, leading to depression or a sense of failure on his spiritual path.
The verse then adds, “o shoro”—or his ox. The shor (ox) is a positive symbol, as it is a kosher animal, but its deeper meaning comes from the Hebrew word shur, which also means “to see.” This connection to seeing relates to light—or—and in Kabbalistic thought, light is associated with the Infinite Light of Hashem (Ein Sof). The shor thus represents someone who, despite the burden of materialism, has moments of spiritual clarity and insight, moments where they see the light of Hashem and recognize the potential for spiritual growth.
In this verse, you see a fellow Jew who possesses both a chamor (symbolizing materialism) and a shor (symbolizing spiritual insight and light), but their materialism is causing them to fall on their journey. They are stuck in a downward spiral, weighed down by the physical demands of life and struggling to maintain their spiritual focus.
The Torah commands, “v’t’alamta mehem”—do not pretend that you don’t see their struggles. You cannot simply look away or ignore their plight. Instead, “hakem takim imo”—you must help lift up the burden together with them. Just as Reb Noson helped lift another person into a state of joy despite their reluctance, the Torah is instructing us to actively engage in helping others when they are spiritually or materially burdened. We have the responsibility to restore their balance, not by taking on their struggles for them, but by joining forces to lift the burden and help them get back on their spiritual path.
The essence of the verse in Parshat Ki Teitzei is that you see your fellow Jew struggling with his chamor (materialism) or shor (spiritual light), and this struggle is causing him to fall on the path, noflim baderech. Whether it’s the heaviness of physical challenges weighing him down or the overwhelming nature of spiritual growth pushing him backward, he is experiencing difficulties. Rebbe Nachman teaches in Lesson 24 of Likutey Moharan that the spiritual journey involves not just moving forward, but also moments of being pushed back, a “betisha”, a backward thrust that is part of the process of growth.
In this context, the verse instructs you not to ignore your fellow Jew’s struggles. Whether he is weighed down by his materialism (chamor) or by the intensity of spiritual growth (shor), you are commanded not to look away. It’s easy to say, “That’s his problem; let him handle it,” but the Torah commands otherwise: Lo tireh—do not see and ignore. Instead, you are called to help lift him up.
The idea of hakem takim imo is more than just a physical lifting—it’s about raising someone’s spirits, helping them through their sadness or setbacks. As Rebbe Nachman and Reb Noson emphasize, joy (simcha) is contagious. You have the power to spread it and help lift up those around you. When you see your friend down, the Torah encourages you to take action: share a joke, sing a song, make him laugh, remind him of the good in life, or help him give thanks to Hashem. This is how you can lift him out of his sadness or difficulty and remind him that everything will ultimately work out, b’ezrat Hashem.
The key here is the word imo—together with him. The obligation to help is when you see that your fellow Jew wants to be lifted up, even if he’s just stuck in a rut. He has the desire to overcome his struggles but needs someone to help pull him out. If he’s open to receiving that boost, then the mitzvah applies.
On the other hand, if someone has completely given up or has no interest in spiritual growth—whether due to mockery, arrogance, or indifference—they are not part of the brotherhood in this sense. The mitzvah of lifting someone up applies when there is shared intent and a common aspiration to serve Hashem. If a person’s materialism (chamor) has overtaken him to the point that he has no spiritual light (shor), no desire to be helped, then there is no obligation to try to lift him. The verse is speaking about a fellow Jew who still has both the chamor and the shor—the physical burden and the spiritual light—and is struggling, but has the potential to be lifted.
The obligation to help lift someone up, especially through simcha (joy), is rooted in recognizing the potential within the person, just as Reb Noson did when he saw a spark of light in his fellow Jew. When you see that a fellow Jew is struggling—whether it’s with the burden of chamor (materialism) or with shor (spiritual light)—and you know that they have a desire deep inside to come closer to Hashem, you are obligated to help them rise. This obligation applies when you see that they still possess a drive, even if they are weighed down by the challenges of life.
The shor (ox) also represents strength and perseverance in serving Hashem. You need the strength of an ox to handle the yoke of Torah study, prayer, work, and family responsibilities. Serving Hashem requires this strength, and when a fellow Jew is struggling with these obligations—whether in their material pursuits or spiritual efforts—you are obligated to help.
The verse adds the condition imo (with him), meaning that you should lift them up with the understanding that they want to be helped. It’s like lighting a candle and watching it flicker until it stands strong on its own. If someone has a chamor or shor, they have the potential to be lifted out of their struggles; they just need someone to ignite the spark. Your simcha can be the catalyst to awaken their joy and help them regain their strength.
The word noflim (falling) also conveys the idea of sadness or depression, as seen when Kayin’s face “fell” after Hashem accepted Hevel’s offering. Kayin’s sadness turned into jealousy, but the root of his fall was feeling dejected. In the same way, the person mentioned in the verse is falling on their path due to the weight of their struggles, overwhelmed by their chamor or shor. When you see someone falling into sadness or frustration, unable to bear the weight of their battles, you cannot ignore them. You must actively engage in lifting their spirits—on the condition that they will participate in the joy with you.
The Torah emphasizes that the reward of this mitzvah is mutual. When you help lift a fellow Jew out of sadness by awakening their simcha, it benefits both of you. The person you help will regain their strength to serve Hashem, and you, in turn, will be elevated by the shared joy. This act of bringing others to simcha is transformative, leading to a greater collective spiritual growth and fulfillment, b’ezrat Hashem.
(This article is also found on the BRI breslov.org website: https://breslov.org/lifting-the-joy-in-your-friend/)
For a video presentation of this article: https://youtu.be/Iev0yGhivQk
Shabbat Shalom
Meir Elkabas
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